Archive for the ‘You can’t make this stuff up’ Category

Yesterday I talked a bit about some crazycakes that I used to date. I’ve had my fair share of them, honestly, and I wanted to share one of those stories with you today!

We’ll call him… D.

D and I met on a band trip. (Yes, I was a band nerd in high school and college.) It was a two week long trip to play in Chicago for the state wide band we were a part of. He was cute. He was muscular. He was so incredibly sweet… and he had more hair and face products than I did. Whatever. He liked to take care of himself. I got it.

Prom rolled around and our proms were on the same night. Since we went to different schools, it was our senior year and we were both up for respective royalty positions for said proms… we didn’t go together. It was fine, I went with a sweet guy that was a year younger than me from my hometown and he went with a group of people who were all single. It’s funny, looking back on it now, it was him and a group of girls. I should have been worried, but I wasn’t (for good reason.)

We graduated and went to different colleges about five hours apart. He’d drive down some weekends. I’d drive up some weekends. We made it work for about six months. He was in a frat, I was in a sorority and we had mutual friends at each school… so it was really fun to see a totally new group of people every other weekend.

At the ripe old age of 18, he asked me to marry him – and gave me a BIG OLE ROCK. Granted, it was marquise cut and yellow gold, but hey, I was 18, what did I know? I said yes. I flashed that ring all over the freaking place. I applied for school at his college. I was accepted. I didn’t bother enrolling in any classes for the next semester at my current college… ’cause I wasn’t going there anymore! YAY for being grown up!

I drove with a friend of mine to surprise him one weekend when we hadn’t planned on seeing each other. He was doing fraternity stuff and I didn’t feel like driving. My friend talked me into it. I get to his frat house, walk to his room and burst in with a “Sweetie, guess who came to see you?!?” wearing my cute new sundress. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever caught your significant other in bed with someone else, but I’m going to tell you right now that it sucks. SUCKS! I was mortified and scrambling to find words to express my shock. Why did no one let me know he had someone in his room while I was walking (damned near skipping actually) to his room to surprise him? But it gets worse…

As he’s scrambling to find clothes, I see WHO he is in bed with…

… His fraternity brother.

I’m going to wait right here while that one sinks in for you.

Yes, I caught my fiancee in bed with another man. Because that’s normal, right?

Needless to say, we broke up shortly after that. We tried to make things work for a little over two weeks before I realized that I simply could not get over it and we broke up for good. He told me that he was just curious and that it was a one time thing. It wasn’t. Mutual friends (well, ex-mutual friends after this event) told me that he had been seeing this guy for four months. Now, after I was got over my initial shock, I was happy for him. We talked every so often for a few years (I ended up going back to school at my original choice) and he seemed incredibly happy. He’d found love with someone and that’s the greatest feeling on the planet. We lost touch after he dropped out of college a couple of years later.

I hear that he’s currently married to a wonderful woman (who for some reason HATES me… even though I have never met her) and they are expecting their first child sometime very soon. I wish him nothing but the best. He taught me to never go blindly into a relationship and to really REALLY know the person you marry. Luckily, I know TC pretty well and while he spends half of his year away from me, I have nothing to worry about.

Ultimately I didn’t care who D was cheating on me with, I was hurt all the same. To find out that the person you thought loved you so deeply was sleeping (and in love with) someone else hurts. At least the guy he was cheating on me with was hot. 😉


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Before everyone gets really excited to hear how TC gave me a wonderfully romantic Valentine’s Day surprise, I’m going to burst your bubble. It’s not. It’s funny, though, so keep reading 🙂

I received a package in the mail from my Mama yesterday. I’m not going to lie, I was expecting it. We have a few traditions in our family that deal with presents. Every Mother’s Day, my brother gets my mom ketchup. Every Halloween, my mom gets me candy corn and every Valentine’s Day, mom gets me those necco conversations hearts. Every Christmas and for her birthday every year, I get my mom the same set of lotions from Bath and Body Works. They all have meaning to our family. They are all inside jokes. Silly little traditions, but I love them.

So when I pulled the package from Mom out of our mailbox yesterday afternoon, I knew what was in it… or so I thought.

I looked at it and it said that it had been received unsealed. Ok, they taped it back up, whatever…

So, I open it… and pull out three items. My conversation hearts, a bar of hershey’s dark chocolate for TC and…

wait for it…

Take a good long look and see if you can spot what’s strange in this picture:

That IS what you think it is. Included in my Valentine’s Day care package from my sweet mama was a pregnancy test.

Yes. A pregnancy test.

Now, I know my mom is getting older and she’s hinted a few times that she’s like to have grandkids from us. (Mom and Dad already have two granddaughters from my brother and his wife.) But we’ve discussed (at length) as to why we’re waiting to have kids. TC’s deployment schedule is pretty intense and communication is likely to be non-existent. We’re both really pretty far from our families and we want to be closer when we have small people so they can be a part of the kid’s life. Also: We live in the sunshine state. We’re a five (5) minute walk to the beach. Being preggo and huge and carting around small people isn’t part of the plan right now.

To say I was thrown by the lone (and I think expired) pregnancy test was an understatement. I call Mom. No answer. I call my parent’s house. No answer. I call my brother to determine if they had talked about something that prompted this…um… interesting… gift. He laughed, but had no insight. My conclusion? My mother has lost her mind.

I finally get ahold of her (after about two hours of sitting and waiting and thinking) and got my answer.

Mom originally sent the hearts and the chocolate and a Valentine’s Day card. Somehow the card got lost and and I ended up with a lone pregnancy test. You can’t make this stuff up. I promise.

So somewhere, someone has my sweet Valentine’s Day card from my mama…and I have have their pregnancy test.


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