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Archive for the ‘Venting’ Category

OHMYGOSHTHEWORLDDIDN’TEND!!! AHH

Ok, so I’m going to confess something:

The reason I STILL haven’t fully caught up with my blog reader and the reason I had to step away from the facebook? I can’t stand the bullshit coming out of both media. I get it, people were freaking out about the government shutdown. It was a huge deal. Would we have been in a bind? No, not really. We have savings, and we’d get that back pay, so it wasn’t a huge inconvenience for us. We weren’t pooping ourselves because we wouldn’t know how to make ends meet. We live below our means and we are perfectly fine with that. We splurge very little and budget our money to INCLUDE savings. Saving money (for retirement and our personal emergency savings) is important to us and we put that money away every month before we do frivolous things. It’s call financial responsibility and even when I was going to school full time and working only part time, I STILL had savings… so please don’t tell me that “We can’t save because we don’t make enough money.” No. You can’t save because you live above your means. End. Of. Story.

The second reason I had to step away was the simple ignorance being spewed by my “friends.” “What the fuck” moments were happening far too often for my comfort level and so I just had to step away. My mother taught me that if I couldn’t say anything nice to not say anything at all… and well… that simply became to be a HUGE challenge for me. She also taught me that if I’m going to complain about the way something is being handled, I should have a damned solution. So… here’s my solution: EDUCATE YOURSELVES before you place blame where blame isn’t warranted and before you open your mouth and sound like an ignorant bigot.

Wow… that was way harsher than I intended it to be… but I feel much better by actually saying it.

 

Now: Back to our regularly scheduled posting 🙂

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Don’t you just love how a bad month can culminate into a shitstorm of a horrible day? This was my day yesterday. It was so bad at one point that I just went back to bed. On any given day, I could have taken the individual events of yesterday in stride, but it seemed like life pushed me down and started kicking me in the stomach repeatedly.

A short list of things that went wrong:

  • My car is STILL not ready yet. They were supposed to have it to me last Friday. Tick tock, folks… I’ve got places to be and things to do.
  • No car = no grocery store run = no ingredients for my breakfast smoothie 😦
  • My run was 35% SLOWER than normal! UGH! So frustrating.
  • I’ve been nursing a pinched sciatic nerve and slipped disc for about a month now. I jacked it up, again, on the slowest run of my life yesterday.
  • Baxter shot out of the front door the moment I opened it, causing me to run frantically around my neighborhood to find that little guy, watched him almost get hit by a car TWICE, pulled my quadricep muscle chasing him and got yelled at by people driving because my dog was out. DUH! I knew that! I’m wasn’t chasing him around for my health! If they were SO concerned about my dog being out… why didn’t they get out of their nice cushy cars to help me corral the little bastard?!
  • In all of this commotion, the electricity people showed up to do something with the meter (without our permission…) and our programmable thermostat won’t work. In fact, our thermostat won’t work AT ALL. I’m glad we don’t NEED AC or the heater. They just need to change out the programmable thermostat to something else, BUT our landlord won’t give us the permission to do so… *Insert side-eye and look of death to landlord here* (Did I mention we’ve been dealing with this issue with our landlord for the past six weeks?!)
  • I’m still waiting to officially start my job. I was offered this position a month ago (one month ago TODAY, in fact) and I haven’t received word on when my starting date is. The money would be helpful, but ultimately, I’m super excited about the position and I want to WORK! Is that so wrong?
  • I dropped (and broke) my french press.
  • My health issues aren’t getting any better. A call from the doc yesterday confirmed some of my worst fears and also explained quite a bit about what’s been going on. I’ve been working out like crazy and eating pretty well… and still gaining pounds (yes, plural) every week. So. Frustrating. But hopefully, they’ve figured out what’s wrong and they can fix at least the weight portion of things. Everything else is still screwed. (Sorry for the vagueness here. It’s complicated and has a pretty involved back story that’s really personal. Know that I love you guys, but I’m just not 100% ready to share it just yet.)

But there was a bright spot in the middle of my day. I didn’t post of facebook, or twitter, or tumblr, or any other social medium about my horrible, horrible day… but as I was sitting on my floor, crying and contemplating opening the wine at 11 a.m., I got a really sweet text message from my dear brother: “Hey, I just wanted to say hi, I love you and have a great day!”

What?! This man, who hasn’t talked to me in week, who used to hate me with a passion only reserved for siblings, who would deny my existence 99% of the time, who didn’t even hug me voluntarily until I was 24 (we’re a family of huggers), who has said that he loved me so infrequently that I can count on one hand how many time he’s said it to me in the past year… sent me a simple text message to bring me back to reality. Thanks, bro!

I’m really lucky to have some great men surrounding me. TC, my dad, my brother and even some really great guy friends are always there for me, no matter what. They’ve shown me what it’s like to be an adult and a great friend. They’ve also taught me how to laugh at life and not take things so seriously. In the midst of my really craptastic day, my brother made me feel special and not so alone. He’s a good guy. I’m lucky to call him my brother.

 

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Spring and fall are my two favorite seasons. The temperature is just right most of the time, there is a change in the air that you can experience with every one of your senses, and there seems to be so much excitement going on around you that you can’t help but feel alive and rejuvenated.

I’m lucky enough to be in a climate that keeps winter to a minimum, and while I know that summer will be a bitch, spring is here in all its glory! While the rest of the nation seems to be buried in a deep snow or stuck trudging through the tundra, I’m running on the beach…

 

And exploring parts of our neighborhood…

 

And making new friends…

 

But with all of this growth and life that comes with spring, there also comes birds. We have a poop-ton of birds! And they sing ALL THE TIME. I woke up at 2 a.m. last night to shut the windows in our bedroom because the birds were STILL singing! What the heck?! Don’t these creatures need sleep? Don’t get me wrong, I love waking up to them, just not at 2 in the morning.  They even sing while it’s raining. What is wrong with these crazy birds?

 

To make it creepier? I can’t see them. I have no idea where in my backyard they reside. Scary, phantom birds. They freak me out. I’m beginning to feel like I’m in a Hitchcock movie…

 

Why are the birds suddenly out in full force? It’s like they all woke up one morning and said “Hey, let’s go sing today! And not stop until we DIE!!” Will they continue to haunt my nighttime throughout the entire length of summer?! That just won’t do… not at all.

 

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Oh Murphy’s law. I dislike you a great deal. First of all: I am 100% fine. No injuries, just  bruised ego and that humiliated feeling you get when you KNOW you’ve screwed up but there is nothing you can do about it.

It rained here last night. Big time rain. Sheets of rain that made it impossible to see. Following my NEW BOSS through the campus of the college we were headed to for a presentation… I don’t see her stop and rear-ended her. Did I mention that we’re 20 minutes late and we have NO clue where exactly we’re going? Yes. Awesome-sauce.

So… we keep going. She’s fine. I’m fine. Everyone is fine. Both cars are drivable. Also, it’s my first day (kind of) at the new job. Yikes.

TC worked until super late last night and didn’t get to talk about this much last night. He’s angry. I’m angry and frustrated and mortified. I just wanna crawl into a hole and live there for a few weeks until everything is fixed. 😦 UGH!

While I know this could be a thousand times worse than it really is, I still think it’s pretty crappy right now. Our insurance rates will go up (again, they already went up simply because we moved here) and it will be a mark on my driving record. Hey Murphy… we’re not friends buddy!!

It’s inevitable that something will go wrong the first day/week at a new job. What’s happened to you? What mortifying stories do you have? Please share! Please, please, PLEASE make me feel better!!!

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Financial Maturity

Financial Maturity is hard. Sometimes… it’s really hard. I’ve always prided myself on being quasi-financially mature. It’s taken a lot of time and discipline. It is something that TC and I take very seriously. We have emergency funds, we pay off credit cards, we don’t have unnecessary debt. When I quit my job, we knew it would be tighter financially so we planned accordingly. We don’t buy extravagant things since we don’t need them.  I cook. (That’s partly due to my obsession with cooking… but that’s another post.) We don’t eat at restaurants as much.

But it irritates me when people blast their financial immaturity through the internet and expect sympathy, or worse, for someone to reach out to them and buy them things when they can’t seem to manage their money. She had a medical emergency <$700 that wasn’t medically necessary to fix. She then went on into her own pity party about how this will make her  family NOT have a Christmas. That this money was her family’s Christmas money and now it was all gone. For her own vanity. She then went on to tell me about all the clothes she purchased and how much she spent on hair extension and coloring, massages, facials, and waxing before her husband got home from a two week TDY. I just want to shake her and tell her that she’s making bad choices. But how do I do that without sounding like a pretentious witch? I feel badly for her, but not because she says that her family won’t get Christmas (I’m sure they will have Christmas… she just has dogs, no kids), but because she’s making choices that will effect her financial well-being for YEARS to come. I realize she is 24, but still! I think that at 24, a person should start to plan for their future, both financially and professionally. Maybe I’m over reacting and my opinion is best left to myself, but I’ve listened to various versions of this for the past year or so. I just want to sit her down and teach her how to save properly. Is that so wrong?

The point of this post: I understand that not everyone has the same philosophy about saving money and being financially secure, but it should be a thought, right? Saving money is hard. There are a ton of things I’d love to buy, but I can’t because I don’t want to be in debt. It’s fine to make poor decisions about life and money, but please don’t ask for my sympathy when you’re clearly making poor mistakes that could easily be avoided.

*End of soapbox rant.*

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I’ve debated about touching on this topic for a long time. But something happened to me yesterday that made me stop and really think about it and compelled me to write something about it.

First off, I’d like to say that I am an officer’s wife. It doesn’t me make better or worse than anyone else, it just means that I fell in love and married a guy that happened to have rank on the top of his shoulder instead of on his arm. I don’t wear his rank. He earned his rank; I did not.

Second; as he progresses in his career, I’m expected to be more active in social events, etc… but honestly, that’s no different than if he was progressing in the corporate world. If he were given a promotion at a large civilian company, I’d be expected to do those things as well. I’m not about stomping on people to progress his career. His talents and abilities will progress him as far as he’d like to go, he doesn’t need me. I’m happy to socialize with people he works with, but I won’t do it to move him up in his career.

So what happened that prompted a post on such a controversial subject? I was trying to pay for nine holes of golf for TC and I at the golf course on base. For those that don’t know, they ask your rank (or your sponsor’s rank) when you pay for a round. Why? Because different ranks have different prices. Makes sense. Lower rank makes less money and therefore should not have to pay as much to play a round. Higher rank = more money = more expensive rounds. Not a big deal. The guy asked my sponsors rank, I told him, I told him my name and handed over my debit card.

A voice behind me repeats my name and introduces herself. Turns out, I had denied a friend request from this girl about a month and a half ago on facebook. (One day I’ll write a post about how I HATE certain aspects of facebook… one day.) I ignored this request for a few reasons.

1.) She was 19. Nothing against 19 year olds, but if I don’t know them and they post five to six updates a day saying: “I can’t wait to gettttt offfff work to sspend time with my BOI~~!!!@@!!@!” “I’m off work, time to spend time with my hubbbbsssss!!!”  “Oh. Em. Gee!!! My HUBSSS has to work ALLL NIGHT!!??! What am I going to do?@?!?!”  I’m probably not going to accept their friend request. Nothing against them, but our personalities would clash and I’d end up deleting them a few days later. They don’t add value to my life.

2.) I don’t know her! If someone were to look at the ratio of family and close friends I consider family on my facebook to those that are people I don’t actually have contact with on a semi-regular basis, it would be interesting.  I don’t friend people I haven’t actually met. I don’t friend people just have a have a ton of friends. It’s not my style.

She didn’t see these things, however. “You didn’t friend because my husband is enlisted.”

What?! Um… not so much. I honestly couldn’t believe she’d said that to me! I have no clue what her husband’s rank is, and do I really care? I choose my friends based on what value I can add to their lives and what value they can add to mine. Simple as that. I like maturity, minimal drama, a shoulder to lean on that’s fairly stable and someone to have an educated conversation with… Someone with similar priorities in life. After lurking on this girl’s page for a few days, I could tell that we would get annoyed with each other pretty quickly. I would be annoyed with myself at 19 too… I’m 26, my life has changed and I’m not like that 19 year old girl anymore.

So the point of this post. I don’t care about rank. I honestly don’t. I care about people that have similar interests and priorities. I choose my friends, both electronic and in real life based on who they are as people. Not how much money they make, or what their husbands do. One of my best friends in the entire world married an enlisted man. I. Don’t. Care. She’s an amazing friend. He’s an amazing friend as well. We both deal with deployments, we both deal with TDYs, we both deal with the standard military stuff. There is no difference, at least in my eyes.

Ultimately it comes down to this. Rank doesn’t matter to most wives.  How a person carries themselves, the respect they show to fellow living creatures (including other humans) and how they interact with others makes me feel a certain way about that person.

So to this accusation, I responded: “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you and I don’t accept friend requests from people I haven’t actually met. I’m really sorry that I offended you.” And I turned around, paid for our golf and went along with my day.

Why can’t we all just respect each other?!?

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